What shapes the personality of a child? How a few children alone can excel in education and communication and as a personality? Personality development of children is a subject that I am relatively passionate about. I set out to find answers to these lingering questions through this post. I put together in this post all the knowledge (though few) that I acquired from my under graduation (with sociology as specialization) and post graduation (with communication as specialization), out of a few years of work experience at various corporate offices and internships with special schools, such as Vidysagar (formerly Spastic Society of India) and ESK learning center (a special school for Dyslexic children) and from my own observation of children in my family and neighborhood including me. I will be happy if this post can shed some light on how a child should be treated at home and school and what kind of environment that parents and teachers should create for the child to become a successful human being.
Before jumping on to the subject of the post, I would like to share some facts about the agents that shape the personality of a child, on the context of which I am planning to base my entire post. These agents are called the agents of socialization. The agents of socialization are the family, school, peer group, community, state and the mass media. When a child is born in this planet, its mind is a clean slate. These agents contribute to the thoughts that the child have about him or her and others and influence the personality of the child. For a country like India, the family is the core of the entire society. A child spends most of the time at home with the family till he or she is three years old. It is said that 85% of the core structure of the brain develops in the first three years of life. So the family can make or mar the life of a child. How the elders at home treat the child decides the perception of the child about his or her own self. It contributes to his or her self image. If the elders at home encourage and appreciate the child for its actions, it will grow into a confident and positive being. On the other hand, as many parents do, if the elders compare and discourage the child, it will only develop into a personality lacking self-esteem. So elders should highlight the feats of a child, no matter how trivial it is and communicate the shortcomings gently and understandably. Then, how elders at home treat each other also contributes significantly to the personality development of the child. The parents or elders should be role models, whom a child can mimic and not instructors, who can only preach but not practice.
The same rules are applicable to the school and teachers as well. So parents should take extra care while putting a child into a school. For instance, Sita (name changed), who is an above average and intelligent student could score only 77% in her tenth CBSE boards. On the other hand, Vinit (name changed), who is an average student, could score more or less, the same marks in his tenth CBSE boards. Similarly, Vinit is an outgoing person with excellent communication skills whereas Sita is very poor at communication and is a shy person. After a few years, Vinit landed up in a plum job whereas Sita managed to secure a job with only a moderate pay scale. This example is taken from the life experiences of people I know, though the names have changed. So what could have made the difference here? The school that they studied and their family environment, undoubtedly. Moreover, the family and school present the peer group, which is another agent of socialization. A child bonds with the children of his or her same age in the family and school. Therefore, if the condition or the quality of the family and school is good, the quality of the peer group will also be good. Similarly, the country, state or city where the child lives and the community that he or she belongs also shape the personality of a child to a grate extent. So, if elders blame a child for an unwarranted behavior, they should remember that they have their own share in such actions of the child.
Similarly, media can also influence the way a child think and act. Of late, television, movies and internet are acting as the primary agents of socialization. So, keeping a watch on what kind of movies and television programs that a child is exposed to is crucial. The children could perceive the bad situations and people that are portrayed in the movies and television as real. It can make a permanent dent in their attitude, feeling and personality. So encourage your children to watch television programs and movies that would promote peace, happiness and well-being. Ensure that you and your family watch movies that only make you feel good. Hope this post answers some of your queries as well. Also, remember I am not an expert in this field of study and what I have expressed here is purely out of my own limited knowledge, observation, and experience. Your feedback is welcomed.
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